Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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