pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize