I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
