Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
