NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
