i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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