3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
