trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Congratulations! We have a period
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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