mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
as a side note pls kill me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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