I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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