He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
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I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
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my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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