Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
