okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
