You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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