i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
4 words: hood of his car
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
