Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
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I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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