How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
