Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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