I think I died a long time ago.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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