my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
