they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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