do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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