Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
