I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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