I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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