Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
