Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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