You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
