This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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