Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
