I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
