If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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