i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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