Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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