Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
A bitchslap is in order.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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