obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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