I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
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