Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize