sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
