i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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