you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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