His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
