He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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