I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
