Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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