Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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