I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
