Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
