Sponge bath it is.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
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