Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
