well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize