the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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