Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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