this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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