My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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