Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
