I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize