what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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