i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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